I’ve not posted much in the past few weeks, I know that. The main reason for this is the complete lack of motivation I’ve felt recently. I’ve mentioned writer’s block before, in several posts in the past, saying that it’s just an excuse for being purely lazy. In the recent weeks though I’ve come to realise that there may be more to it than just laziness.
Life has a way of getting to us all. We all have different coping mechanisms, some people find new relationships, others take up exercise and others still find a new hobby. My coping mechanism seems to be that I lose any motivation to write, or if I am writing I don’t want to talk about it. I’ve been jobless for the past three months. This may not seem too bad, particularly in light of the economic situation at the minute, but job searching has a way of getting to you. The constant applications and rejections slowly start to wear down at my self esteem, making me feel more and more like a failure. I lose the motivation not just to apply for jobs but for a lot of other things, including writing and drawing. I’ve felt myself slipping into that black hole of despair that many writers and artists teeter on the edge of and in the past week or so I’ve clawed my way back into the sunlight.
I managed to finish the Script Frenzy script, I’ve been writing random one-shots based in that universe for a group I’ve joined on LiveJournal and I’m starting to feel a whole lot better about myself. Part of this is due to simple comments on my writing that I’ve received through the group, little things like they like certain parts of the stories or random little nuggets of the text that I slipped in because my mind goes a little loopy after 8pm. I even got a call yesterday about a job. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to get it as it would require me to have a driving license which I sadly lack but the fact that that was the only thing holding me back from it just served to reassure me.
But the fact of the matter is that I did get writer’s block and lost all motivation. But it wasn’t because I’m lazy and not because I believe that the creative muse is a fickle beast that flitters off like a butterfly at inappropriate times but because I’m human and I got sad. It’s something to think about and it has really made me realise how much life can affect us all in ways we didn’t even realise.
So, as I sit here on this rainy Thursday afternoon I ask that you remember this when decrying writer’s block. It’s a large generic term that too often gets used as an excuse but when it comes down to it writer’s block is a cover all term that simply says that the writer can’t write. Not because the ideas aren’t there but because there’s something else going on in their lives. Distractions are things that will and do happen to us all.
It’s life after all. Live it.