A little bit lost

So I’m at a bit of a loss. I’ve been imagining this day for ages but never actually thought about what I’d do when it got here. You’re probably wondering what on earth I’m blabbering about. Well I’ll tell you.
I finished the first draft of Darkling Watch.

It’s a big deal to me, a massive accomplishment and I’ll tell you why. My biggest downfall in my writing is that I’ve never finished anything. I’ve got dozens and dozens of works in progress on my computer and in my room. Everything I start I seem to leave by the wayside. Today though is one of the first times I’ve ever actually finished something. I’m so proud of myself and at the same time I’m shell-shocked. I’ve dreamed about being able to turn around to my parents and say ‘it’s done’ but now that it’s here I don’t know what to do. I feel like I should be jumping up and down on the bed and running around squealing. But I’m not. Instead I’m sat here, trying to figure out what to do next. It’s pretty awe-inspiring. I’ve just completed the first step on the path to possibly getting published. Editting will come soon enough and then submissions. I’m finally reaching towards my dream and I can’t believe it is happening.
It doesn’t feel real. I’ve felt this feeling before; when I got into uni, when I graduated, when my first article was published in the student paper. It’s not a new sensation. I just never thought I’d get it for my writing though.

I’m sitting here wondering what else I can spend my day doing, not that I spent hours and hours just sitting there writing. A lot of the time I was procrastinating.
I suppose I could work on the Young Adult novel I’ve been planning, actually start writing it. Or I could rewrite Witchan or Loves Complications, sort out their plots and actually get onto drawing the pages again. Maybe.
Or maybe I could just revel for the day in the joy of the fact that at last I’ve finished something. I could use it as a starting point to prove to myself and everyone else that at last I’m no longer just a doer. I’m a finisher. I start things, I do them and I get them finished. 

I’m not going to lie. It’s a nice feeling.

Creative Explosion

So what can I say?  My creativity seems to have gone boom. It seems like all of a sudden I’ve got a ton of ideas that I’m working on and I’m actually seeing progress that I’m pleased with. 

My creativite mind... or at least what I imagine it looked like.

Image courtesy of http://pastorhobbins.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/explosion-big-bang.jpg

                My NaNo novel.... is titled and almost finished!! I couldn’t be prouder, my baby is almost fully born. I’m even looking forward to doing the editing and multiple drafts. There is one... flaw, I suppose you would call it. As of right now the total word count is 100,000 words. Now I’m no expert on the lengths of novels, even though I read a lot, but I think that may be too long for just one novel. It may be a case that in publishing it’s split into two. If I manage to get that far anyway. But apart from that things are rolling along nicely. I’m managing to get from my exposition right near the end to the actual climax at last. For weeks I’ve been staring at that part of the story, trying to make myself fill it in. Then in the last few days, as I’ve apparently hit a creative streak it’s started to work, I’m writing 800 to 1000 words of it a day, when I’m pushing myself, more than that when I’m not really trying and the ideas start pinging around my head. I’m glad of this really. It means that I’m on the home stretch and I’m one step closer to reaching my dream or at least trying for it.
                I’m working on my basic groundwork for Script Frenzy. Script Frenzy is ran by the same people who do NaNoWriMo and the basic idea is that you try to write 30 pages of script for a movie, tv series, anything in a month, starting on April 1^st. I decided to give it a go seeing how much success I’ve had with NaNo. I started searching for an idea last week, only wanting to make sure I had one because I didn’t want to leave it until the last minute like with NaNo. The idea got away with me though and now I’ve got the plot... at least most of it... and I’ve got my characters. I have a vague idea of what they look like too and what sort of style I’m going to use. I’m even building up a reference library of things that I can use to do my drawings. I’ve got twists, I’ve got back-story, I’ve got a page limit. All these things give me the feeling that for once, I may actually manage to do it. I don’t start writing the script until April so I’ve got time to develop my characters, draw settings, profiles, expression pages and a chance to test the drawing style. But I’m happy.

              In other news, I’ve canned Witchan. I’m not happy with the story, I haven’t been for a while. The general premise I like but I feel that it just needs more work and I have, as an authorial choice, taken the pages offline and I’m planning to work on the script some more at a later date. I want to rework the characters, rework the script, tweak the plot around. There are parts of the story and the idea that I love, most of the characters I love. But I just have this nagging feeling in the back of my head that I rushed into it all way too quickly. I’ve not even finished writing the thing, I’m not happy with the art and I have no idea what my main characters really look like. I think that I’m just going to have to pause the story, trash the pages and start over. So that’s what I’ve done. Once I’ve got the novel finished and the Script Frenzy idea rolling properly I may well go back to it. Who knows I might even dip in and out of it as I’m working on other things.
                Right now however, as well as Darkling Watch(the NaNo Novel), Of Swords and Magic(the Script Frenzy idea) and Chains in the Basement(a young adult novel I’m currently plotting), I’m working on a new old idea. Love Complications was one of the first stories that I actually finished. I decided that I wanted to turn it into a web-comic. So I did. I managed to get to the second chapter, almost the end of the second chapter in fact before I began to get the feeling that there was something off about the whole thing. The art I actually quite liked, even after it had changed a couple of times. It was the plot I was having issues with. The story was basically the wish fulfilment fantasy of a teenage girl, as I wrote it at 16 when I was having a few... issues with my school life. Now I’ve taken off the pages and I’m reworking the script. The basic idea is the same but the points along the way are changed, the characters are going to be more well-rounded. And most importantly, I’m going to take my time! With everything. Because I’m an impatient bugger.

Me with my ideas... I am a woman

Image courtesy of http://www.activegarage.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/dirty-dozen-6-impatience

              

If I don’t wait I’ll end up unhappy with it all again and just have to repeat this cycle over and over and over and over and over and... well you get the point. Planning needs to be balanced with actually creating and my ideas need to keep flowing. Working on a load of projects at once and giving myself deadlines seems to help spur me on so for now, I'm gonna stick with it.

Check in 2

                So it’s been a week of ROW80 and so far I’ve not really kept to my goals. It’s sad and quite unfortunate. I’m not quite sure what’s going on with me if I’m honest. I get all these ideas when I’m at work and sorting out the paperwork while wearing rubber gloves that make me feel like I should be giving someone a prostate exam (yes you read that right. I have to wear rubber gloves to sort paperwork. Long story for a whole other blog post) but as soon as I get home and sit down to write all these ideas go out of the window. It’s not because I forget the ideas either, I make sure that I write them down as soon as they’ve properly formed. I’ve even been figuring out some difficult parts of the plot for my current novel while I’ve been fiddling with my paper work.

                I have made a start on a new novel however, writing the opening paragraph and working on notes for the plot. It seems to be more of a young adult novel, brought on by reading too much Garth Nix and Jenny Nimmo. I don’t mind though as I seem to be focusing on the supernatural and paranormal anyway. In terms of art as well I’ve started a couple of pieces, mostly for the Sketchbook Project but I’ve still not gotten around to actually finishing them. There is a little time left in today so who knows I may actually be able to quickly finish one piece at least and I can count that as actually succeeding in one of my goals.

Check In 1 for ROW80 and my resolutions

So the third day of ROW80 is over. I’ve managed to keep to my goals so far, apart from yesterday when I got distracted by hair dye and began to go blonde. I’ve managed to over reach my 500 words a day on both Monday and today and I’m very proud of myself.

I don’t know about you but I find goals and targets really do help me to push myself. Every time I’ve said, ‘oh I’ll do a bit of writing today’ I’ve not really written anything. BUT! When I set myself a target like with NaNo or ROW80, for instance, try to write 500 words a day, I seem to over write and hit my target and go beyond. This happened a lot with NaNo, although I was disappointed that I didn’t manage to write more each day considering I actually had nothing to do every day. I have been writing about 600 words roughly both times I’ve sat down to write this week, in only about an hour which does show me that if I try to reach a certain target I can surpass it. I’m beginning to realise that I work best with measurable goals, rather than vague ideas.

It’s showing in the artistic side of my goals as well. I’ve already started on this week’s image, after almost 2 months off. I might have to up my goal though, or do several all nighters before the end of January as I do need to send off The SketchBook Project back by the end of the month. I’ve got more images done then I expected and I’ve got the majority of the materials I need, it’s just the actual sitting down and drawing, painting and sketching that I need to get down to. I’m hoping that once my contract’s up, which it almost is, I can take the next couple of weeks to just steam through my drawings and sketches.

                All in all though, considering it’s only the first check in point for ROW80 and still the first week of January, I’m pleased with my progress this week. Here’s hoping I can keep it up.