WiPpet Wednesday: Locked Up

It’s that time of the week again, that’s right, it’s WiPpet Wednesday. This week I’m sharing some more of the Autharium Project with you all. I really do need to come up with a new name for the story, one that I can actually use when I start searching for a cover artist and when it comes time to hit that publish button. After a week or so of making no progress I finally sat down yesterday and wrote almost an entire scene. That’s about 1,531 words for this particular scene. Now I’m not going to show you all of it, that would be silly. But I thought that I share with you the first part. I think I’ve done quite well with the world building here and the reader starts to see the kind of society that Kaya and her crew live in, or rather have escaped from.

To catch you up, Kaya has broken into Crown Haven’s dungeon, managed to make her way to Marrick and make her escape. It was all a trap though and the ‘lovely’ Arnoth Bay caught her and her crew and put them on trial before the Council of Elders. Understandably, as pirates, she and her crew were sentenced to hang until Bay stepped in and offered a deal; they get something for him and they take their chances fighting in the civil war plaguing the Empire. Kaya, naturally tells him no and now they’re stuck in the dungeon, arguing amongst themselves about what to do.

“We don’t even know what the Oracle looks like!” Keiran cried “It could be absolutely massive or the size of a thimble. It’s a death trap taking on this journey,”

“It’s a chance to live,” growled Carrock “A chance for us all to live and go back to our lives,”

“Go back to the front lines you mean,” Carter said, “Or did you miss the bit where Bay said we would be sent there as cross bow fodder should we succeed? We aren’t going to come out of this alive, whichever choice we make. Taking this mission is just postponing the inevitable,”

“At least on the front lines we know what we’re dealing with,” Cassie said, glaring at Carter “We have a chance there! We can fight and we can survive long enough for Bay to forget all about us,”

“You mean the men will have a chance to survive,” Carter said dryly “Or did you forget that women don’t have a place in the Empire’s military too? You won’t get to serve on the ships, you’ll serve at the ports, spreading your legs for whichever pathetic flier has enough silver to line your master’s pockets,”

The cells descended into shouting and yelling, much as it had done for the past two days. It was the eve of the hanging and Kaya had grown tired of the constant talk. Marrick was a little better, able to sit up by himself now but it made little difference, he would soon be swinging from the gallows just like the rest of them. Kaya watched as her crew grew more and more irate. These men and women were not made to be confined, to be locked up within four walls. They were meant to roam free, like the mountain eagles. The confinement, the constant threat of death and the promise that was dangled before them was so tempting but so dangerous, were all wearing thin on everyone’s nerves.

And then, right on cue, came the whistling and slow footsteps of Arnoth Bay, for the third time that day, the arguments died down into silence.

As always this is completely pure and unedited, exactly as I wrote it yesterday. I’d love to hear your thoughts on what’s there.

Is the world building nice and subtle enough? Is Carter being a bit too mean? Do all my characters sound the same (because that’s something I’m a little worried about)? What do you like about it? What do you hate about it?

Let me know down in the comments and keep an eye out on Friday for a new Series of posts that I’m starting.

WiPpet Wednesday: A Darker Side of the Heroine

Here we are, another Wednesday, another Work in Progress. I actually quite enjoy doing these to be honest, it’s nice to get some feedback from people regarding my writing, especially which characters they really like.

This week I’ve returned to the Autharium Project (that really needs a new title) and we take a visit to Crown Haven’s lovely neighbourhood dungeon. Captain Kaya has finally managed to track down the wayward Marrick (who you all loved last time) and they’ve gone to get him out of whatever trouble he’s in. Of course, being pirates, she and her crew haven’t exactly taken the front door. But when they get inside they begin to realise that all is not as it seems and it’s definitely going to be harder to get Marrick out than they expected and we begin to see a darker side of our heroine.

She rushed through and knelt by Marrick’s head, gently brushing the matted and bloody hair back from his face.

 His eyes were bruised and battered, one so purple and swollen that he could barely get it open. The skin had split, leaving a line of blood to trickle down one cheek and a oozing mass of black clotted blood filled the wound. His nose was swollen too, bent out of shape like it was broken. His lip was split down the middle and bruises covered his face. Some were yellow and green, telling the tale of strikes made days ago, others were purple and black, only hours old. Marrick tried to sit up, grabbing at Kaya’s hands but he was too weak, his body too damaged for him to be able to.

“You shouldn’t have come,” he whispered quietly, his voice thick and rasping “It’s what he wanted.”

 “He doesn’t know I’m here,” Kaya whispered back, stroking her hand through his bloody hair

“We’ll get you out of here.”

“We’ll get you out of here.”

 She slowly climbed to her feet and rounded on Malcolm who had drawn closer as she had tended to her injured friend.

 “What did you do to him?!” she hissed.

 Malcolm didn’t answer, he was gazing at Marrick with shock on his face, the blood drained from his features leaving his skin an ashy white colour.

 “I didn’t do this,” he said slowly, horror in his voice as he shook his head “I had no idea things were this bad, I swear. Bay took him to a room, said he wanted to have a little chat. I didn’t know he was doing this to him.”

 “If I find out that you had any part in this…” she said. She suddenly reached for Malcolm and pulled him close, hissing in his face “I swear that I will kill every person that you love and make you watch,”

There we are. I hope that you like it. Is it mysterious enough for you? Do you want to know more about this Bay chappy? Are you getting the hint that Kaya and Marrick are more than good friends? (Hint: they are) Who is this strange Malcolm chap? Will they manage to get out? As usual let me know what you think in the comments below and please, don’t hold back.

WiPpet Wednesday: A Peek at the Feral Diaries

Hey guys, it’s Wednesday again and you know what that means! WiPpet Wednesday. But first let’s have a bit of a catch up.

Everything else in life is going swimmingly, projects are getting worked on, blogs are getting prepared and clients are getting their orders. Things slowed down a little in comparison to how productive I was last week and I am a little sad about that but I knew that there was no way that I could keep working at that pace without a small break. I’m not used to it, I’d burn out. But I have to keep plugging away and no matter how much I’d love to just sit and do nothing I know that I’d end up bored and feeling guilty for not making the best use of my time. So I’m slowly chipping away at my To-Do list. But enough about that. Let’s move on to something that you’re actually interested in;

WiPpet Wednesday!

Now usually I go with something from the Autharium Project but this week I decided to give you a preview of one of my other Works in Progress. Now I’ve mentioned it several times and in fact if you go to my WiPpage here on the blog you can see exactly how many books there are in the series, or at least how many I intend there to be. That’s right, this week you get a look at the monstrosity that I’ve been working on for over a year, since 2012 in fact; Feral Diaries. Now the name’s not set yet but I do have a rough cover. It’s the editing that’s taking the longest but I’m slowly powering through and it should be ready for a rewrite by the end of the summer. In fact I’ve set that as a deadline right now in my little diary. 

As you can see I have no life in October

By 26^th October the edits and read through will be complete and I will be ready to begin the rewrite (which incidentally is already looking like it’s going to be a big one). 

So... where are we in the story? The ferals have begun to emerge, the violent aggressive and animalistic victims of a mutated vaccine, and the British government have no idea how to handle it. Our hero Hannah, isn’t too scared of the Ferals, at least not at first and then she meets one.

I saw two Ferals chase down this poor man. I hadn’t realised that they had spread this far but apparently I was wrong. As they were chasing this man they were snarling and growling at him and each other. I never thought that a human throat could make those sounds. It was like what I’d heard on the Animal Channel as lions and hyenas brought down a full grown elephant. The Ferals caught the man and seemed barely out of breath. As they brought him down and started eating him he was still alive and screaming. I could hear his bones crunching and the wet sounds of meat being pulled from his bones and chewed. I had trouble sleeping that night and for a few nights since. Nightmares have plagued me ever since. It was horrible to watch but I couldn’t turn away, like a car crash. Just thinking and remembering makes me shake and shiver. I’m not ashamed to admit that I lost my lunch, there and then, decorating the slabs of the town square with multi-coloured chunks of food. I went home quickly with the acidic tang of bile settled deep in the back of my throat. I barely saw the soldiers surround the Ferals and put them down. I heard the shots though. They aren’t so unusual now.

This is completely unedited, I’ve not even put in any of the notes that I made doing my read-through. It’s discombobulated and rambling and I know that it’s going to need work. This is just one small passage and you can see what’s needed, you can see how much editing and rewriting I have ahead of me. There are hundreds more passages, each as bad as this one, that I need to fix. If you want to see how much worse things are in some of the other entries you can check out the entire index of entries that I've put up so far over on Live Journal.

But what do you think of that passage? Does apocalyptic fiction draw you in? Is it nice to see a change from the usual zombie fiction? Should I focus more on the people than the Ferals? Can you think of a better name for human beings that have reverted to their basic animal instincts? As always let me know in the comments below and I’ll get back to each and every one of you.

WiPpet Wednesday

So it’s Wednesday and I know that last week I did a RoW80 check in and a bit of WiPpet Wednesday. Well this week I’m just doing the WiPpet Wednesday instead of both. I think that two check ins a week is a little much, it’s only been like three days since I last checked in and while things are going a little better I don’t think it’s enough to really count. Plus I don’t want to keep bogging you all down with progress updates all the time instead of doing something fun and useful for my posts.

But I did enjoy the WiPpet Wednesday part. It was great to get even a little bit of feedback that I got and see what people think of what I have for the Autharium project so far. So without further ado, here is this week’s WiPpet. It’s about 400 words from a little further in and the story’s moved on a little more. We meet a somewhat sinister character, two very loyal friends and Kaya the pirate captain and leading lady of our story. Not everything is as it seems though and secrets are being hinted at. So far Kaya’s travelled to a port city to try and find the wayward Marrick who didn’t turn up when promised but she and her friends have been followed by a mysterious hooded figure. After laying a trap they have the man on his back. Keiran’s gotten to close though and the hooded figure just tried to slice his face off; that’s where we come in;

Kaya acted quickly, drawing her own sword and tapping it hard, flat side against the man’s elbow. He dropped the blade and swore, clutching his arm to his chest and glaring up at the captain from beneath his hood. Kaya tipped his chin back with her blade, forcing him to look her in the eye. She sucked in a surprised breath as the hood fell back to reveal shaggy blonde hair, piercing blue eyes and a strong stubble lined jaw.

 “So which of you do I have the pleasure of talking to today?” she said dryly. “Jareth or Gareth?” 

The man just smirked at her, dimples appearing in his cheeks and he laughed through his nose. 

“Jareth it is,” Kaya said. “What do you want?” 

She dug her sword harder into his clavicle, turning his smirk into a frown of pain. He didn’t move away though, didn’t try to break free of the blade. He just leaned backwards, propping himself up on his elbows. 

“Who says I’m Jareth?” he said eventually, glaring at Kaya with hatred. 

“Gareth has more dimples,” Kaya said and jabbed him with her blade “Now answer the question. What do you want? Why aren’t you at your master’s side?” 

“The Commander is a little… preoccupied at the moment shall we say?” said Jareth “He has made a new friend and is trying to find out a little more about him before he decides whether to keep him around or not,” 

“So you thought that you’d what? Slip free of your leash and come to pay little old me a visit for old times sake?” Kaya said sarcastically. 

“No.” Jareth said, looking at her in challenge “I came to warn you.” 

“Warn her? Warn her of what?” Keiran demanded to know, interrupting the conversation “You follow us, try to stab me and then want to warn her of something. What game are you playing?” 

“You should not take me trying to stab you too personally,” Jareth said, “I tend to try and stab everyone I meet.” 

“What are you wanting to warn me about Jareth?” snapped Kaya, losing patience. “And why?” 

“I owe you,” Jareth said simply “You saved Gareth’s life and I owe you for that. Now I have come to repay my debt,” 

“Bay would kill you for this,” Kaya said harshly “What’s your real reason?” 

“That is it,” Jareth said with a shrug, “Take it or leave it,” 

“Wait Bay?!” Enora cried, grabbing Kaya and forcing the other woman to look at her “Bay as in Arnoth Bay? Commander of the Air Navy and enemy of pirates everywhere. He works for Bay and you know him,” 

“Oh she knows us all very well,” Jareth said smoothly “Do you not Kalanya?” 

“Don’t call me that,” hissed Kaya, shoving her blade against his throat. “Don’t ever say that name again. Kalanya is dead and buried. I’m Kaya now,”

As you can see Kaya has a bit of a secret past that not even Keiran and Enora, two of her closest friends, know about. For the record Jareth and Gareth are twin brothers, one’s more psychopathic than the other but that’s not saying much. As for Bay... he’s the big bad of the story, or at least it looks that way for now. So what’s Jareth come to warn Kaya about? Who is Kalanya? Why on earth does Kaya know Jareth and Bay and what made her leave her past behind? I’m not totally sure yet but I’m sure that it’ll all be revealed in time. This was pure and unedited first draft prose, no polish, no second read-through, nothing. It has come out exactly as it was in my brain.

As always let me know what you think in the comments belo.? Is there lots of lovely tension? Are you wondering the same things that the characters are wondering? Who do you see as Jareth? Personally I see a younger version of Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, (the guy who plays Jaime Lannister in Game of Thrones) as Jareth but that’s just me. I always try to respond to any comments I may have and I really enjoy hearing from you all.

Progress Wednesday: A Row80 Check In and WiPpet Wednesday

So here we are, another Wednesday, another check in. It’s only been a few days since my last check in but given that I changed my goals around a little I think it’s understandable that I want to figure out whether they’re working for me or not. Overall I’d say they have but I think I need to look a little more closely to be sure.

Post 1 blog post other than a RoW80 check in a week – The week’s still young and the post is written. A few edits and it’ll be good to go on Friday. Progress – Good

30 Minutes on social media a day – I’ve been commenting on blogs, joining in LinkedIn discussions and posting on Twitter. It may not be a full 30 minutes that I'm spending though but what I have done is still good. I just need to find a way to not send half the social media time trying to figure out what I'm doing. Progress – needs improvement.

Spend 1 hour doing a creative activity each day – This first one I chose to as writing, trying to get The Novel finished for Autharium. Monday and Tuesday I spent an hour writing and in fact I kept writing past my hour deadline yesterday and had a 4k word day, the first that I've had in a while. Progress – Excellent

Spend 1 hour doing a different creative activity each day – Monday I struggled with this, trying to edit The Feral Diaries while waiting for a client to appear for an interview. Tuesday was excellent and I’m starting to see how sitting down and doing it can just pay off. Progress – Slow but getting there.

Start and try for completion of projects on the order day – I did in fact wake up to two new jobs yesterday morning and started and finished them both very quickly, before I did anything else. It was a great way to start the day, knowing that I’d done my official work as soon as it had arrived. Progress – Excellent.

Overall I'd say I'm definitely doing ok with my goals. There's only really one worry spot and that's the social media goal. I think I need to figure out what I'm doing there so I'm not wandering the internet in dazed confusion for 30 minutes. But there's more green and orange (I do like my colour coding) than there was last check in I believe and that's good. 

Now... I keep seeing the term WiPpet Wednesday bandied around the blogosphere a lot lately. A few of my new blog friends that I’ve made this round have actually taken part and have encouraged me to take part too. I don’t normally share my writing on here, preferring to keep it secret and safe, hidden from anyone. But I decided that I need to break free of some of these self imposed boundaries. So here it is; the first 500 words of The Novel, unedited and totally fresh from the first draft. I wrote this back at the beginning of July and I still really like how it turned out.

The dock of Crown’s Haven swarmed with men, every one of them knowing exactly where they were meant to be and what they were meant to be doing. Ropes were grabbed and tied and the ship slowly lowered towards the ground. The timbers creaked below his feet, the clanking of the chains growing louder and louder as the ship was towed, inevitably, irrevocably down to the ground. Marrick watched from the forecastle of the Dark Tide, watched the dozens of men and women scurrying around the deck, securing lines and bringing up cargo. The women had their long hair tucked up beneath scarves and hats, their curves hidden in billowing shirts and waistcoats.  

“We’re landed Captain,” said the burly quartermaster at his side.

“What do you want me to do Sir?” Marrick lifted an eyebrow at the older man. 

“Really Wallis?” he drawled “Are you actually going to go along with the Sir and Captain thing?” 

“It’s how it’s done Sir,” Wallis said, his eyes glittering with mirth “Wouldn’t do for one of the locals to suspect we were nothing but the honest, hardworking traders that we are, Sir” 

“Oh we work hard all right,” Marrick said, his smirk growing “You and I both know that you run this ship when we’re landed. I’ll let you to it and go and see if I can find us a new bowman or three,” 

“Ay Sir,” Wallis said with a mock salute. 

Marrick walked away laughing beneath his breath. He threw a quick wave at the other man and slung one long leg over the railing of the forecastle before dropping to the deck below. One of the crew stumbled and swore at Marrick as he appeared in front of him suddenly, making the crewman drop his boxes.  

“Language Hicks,” Marrick said with a scowl. “It wouldn’t do for the dock master to hear language like that here,” 

“Sorry Captain,” Hicks muttered, gathering the boxes together again. 

“Lower your voice, man!” Marrick snapped below his breath. 

“Sorry Captain,” Hicks muttered again, his voice gruffer now, deeper. 

Marrick cast a quick glance towards the dock master who was now on deck, deep in conversation with Wallis. He was looking intently at his chalkboard, checking off the log that Wallis had given him against what was being steadily lowered from the ship. The dock master didn’t look up. Marrick breathed a sigh of relief. 

“Wallis!” Marrick called, walking towards the two men, “I’m going landward but I should be back soon,” 

He didn’t wait for a reply, instead leaping onto the railing of the deck and grabbing a nearby rope. As he slid down it, plummeting faster and faster towards the ground he heard Wallis calling out above him. 

“You need to be back by the windshift Sir! Captain Rush will be mighty peeved if you’re late for the next cargo collection!” 

Marrick laughed and continued walking, throwing up an arm to show that he had heard.

I think that the first few pages are good but then again I wrote them so I would say that. What do you think though? Let me know if there’s anything that you would change, fix, jiggle around a bit. I always like to hear people’s opinions on my writing, more often than not they see problems in the prose that I don’t because I’m too close.

The second part of the blog series on the Three Act Structure should be up on Friday so keep an eye out for that and make sure that you come back next Wednesday for more WiPpet Wednesday and maybe you’ll get to see more of The Novel. Or maybe I’ll be cruel and post something from another Work in Progress.

How do you think I’ve done with my goals? Am I being too easy on myself? Too hard? Am I trying to do too many things each day? Let me know what you think in the comments below. I always try to reply to them, even if it takes me a little while.