Well things have been a bit mental here in Nallyland since I last made a post back in... wow September! I have been a bad blogger.
Anyway, since September a lot has happened. My sister went overseas to work on a cruise ship, I was revisited by depression, failed NaNoWriMo for the first time ever, started dating someone, stopped dating someone, lost my job, set myself up as a self-employed freelance writer, had a death in the family, had a wedding in the family and had my sister return from working overseas. So all in all it’s not like I’ve been sat doing nothing. Today I decided though that it’s been far too long since I last made a post. It’s been about 7 months in fact (I am in fact screaming about that inside. I feel so bad!). There’s so much I want to write about and share with you all but it would take so many words for me to tell you that you’d stop reading before being a quarter of the way through.
I know that I’ll come back to some of these things in later posts, specifically the whole freelancing thing and the depression. I will say this though, depression isn’t one of those illnesses that once you get over it, it never comes back like with chicken pox. It comes back. It almost always comes back. And I’ve started to feel like I’m living my life looking over my shoulder waiting for the next bout of the stuff. So far I’ve been lucky in that although it came back it wasn’t as bad as it used to be. I’m not stuck, curled up in bed crying and unable to face the world. But I’ll tell you about that at another point. And the freelancing, self-employment move... that’s going to need a whole post to itself. I’m starting to wonder though whether I have the motivation and dedication to do it. Then I realise that my dad will possibly gloat if I turn around and say no, that’s it, I’m getting a normal person job. So I have that pushing me onwards. It’s hard work though. Much harder than you’d expect. Then again I’m an inherently lazy individual so it may just be me thinking it’s hard when actually it’s fairly easy.
In the writer-ly news though, I’m still writing, still planning and still editing. My projects are coming along swimmingly. I finally gave in and bought Scrivener which I have to admit I do love. A lot. Feral Diaries is still going through its edits and I admit I’m taking my time with it as it is soooooo screwed up at the moment that it could in fact be better if I just sat down and started over with the whole thing. But I won’t because I know that there are some good bits in there and the whole thing can shine if I managed to polish it up some more. Wolfe, the novel I started working on for NaNoWriMo, is also being planned well and is almost ready for writing. I’ve been taking my time planning this one too, fitting it in around my freelancing projects and other personal projects. I did write about 5,000 words of it during NaNo but they were pure crap so I’m just going to delete them and start fresh with the story properly planned out.
I also found some notes on old stories that I worked on several years ago, stories that began writing, in fact, before I realised that writing is what I wanted to do with my life. The stuff in there is fairly good too. Not amazing and not my best work but I can see where my mind was going with them. Now I just need to finish planning them and I can begin actually writing them.
I’m feeling motivated again, imagining and thinking of all of the things that I want to do with my stories once I’ve finished them properly. I’ve got my eyes on the finish, the end prize. But I enjoy the journey, the strange twists and turns I take to reach the end product. And if I ever stop enjoying the journey and start seeing it as a chore....
Well I want you to tell me to stop writing and go and get a normal person job. At least for a little while.
Because let’s face it. I’m not a normal person.