Brain trickery. AKA procrastination

I am appallingly bad at doing things I’m meant to. It shows on the blog too. I should be write blog posts and posting them on time. I should be editing my novel and getting it ready to send off. I should be looking for a job every day. There’re lots of things I should be doing (too much time, too much stuff but it never gets done) but I just can’t get myself to do them. 

The thing is that I have to trick myself into doing anything most of the time. If I’m meant to be editing the novel I’ll be working on the Screnzy script. If I’m meant to be looking for a job I’ll be writing blog posts. Once I figure out what I do when I’m meant to be doing something else it’s fairly easy to get myself to do what I should be doing. Take this post for instance (no I don’t mean actually take it. Put it down!). I’m not meant to be writing it. I’m meant to be job hunting or editing right now. At least that’s what I told myself. Instead my brain decided that I should write a blog post instead and came up with this while I was cooking lunch (fish-finger sandwiches FYI). I don’t mind though as I know I needed to post something. Once I pinpoint when I do things as procrastination I can start making myself do them (I don’t even know if this makes sense :s).

This attitude probably isn’t healthy. In fact it screams of some kind of mental illness. The fact that I know I’m tricking myself into being productive but it still works really is a little worrying. But at the end of the day it gets me to do what needs to be done and that’s what matters. There’s probably going to be a point where I really need to start worrying though (mostly when I start referring to myself in the third person and occasionally demand to be addressed as Maximillian) but until then I’m just going to use this strange tricky ability (no, I know that doesn’t make sense but shush) and get things done.

See you in the nuthouse!

Project...Friday?

This is a very, very late Project Friday. Particularly seeing as it’s now Sunday. I’m really, really, really sorry. Friday I went all bleurgh and yesterday I was out until late with the Guides. Yes I’m a guide leader. People trust me with their children. I was amazed too. Anyway... I know it’s late, and I’ve already broken my word from last week but now it’s the first of April I actually have something to tell you about my projects. 

First is the Screnzy idea, oSaM. It’s no longer a vague concept in my mind, it’s getting substance and becoming reality. I’ve got one of my main characters designed and I’ve finally started to write the script. It’s slowly, very slowly, taking shape. Once I’ve finished this post I plan to get back to it and try to hit 5 pages before I go to bed. I’m really struggling with the opening though. Originally, in all my planning, I was going to just have mostly exposition for the first couple of pages but then I realised how boring it would be. Now I’m trying it where it starts with actual characters and has all the exposition come along later. It’s tricky though. I’m trying to get to some action and still show my readers what the characters are like but it’s almost impossible to do both. I need to sit down without any distractions and think about it properly.

Secondly, The Novel. Nothing’s really going on there. I’m still doing all my research, mostly into Norse myths and the religion. I’m also thinking about the story itself. Now in my original plans the story didn’t stop where I stopped it, there was another confrontation with the bad guys after the one I ended on. There was also way more manipulation of supporting characters that actually had the ability to destroy the world. Go figure. Now I’m looking at The Novel, trying to edit the first pages and I’m thinking to myself, ‘maybe I should separate it into three books.’ As it stands now it’s about a book and a half in length. Were I to add extra plottyness to the end (shaddup, it’s a word) I’d end up with a massive beast of a novel that could be used to knock out a large rhino. I’m probably going to have to split it up anyway, should I eventually get around to publishing it, so it’s worth considering turning it into a trilogy. I only meant for it to be a single novel. Go figure again.

Thirdly, the L.C. reboot. It’s stalled. That’s really the only way I can put it. Whatever creative muse has been stalking me this past month... well let’s say it’s like someone got a restraining order against it but it wasn’t me. This may be related to certain aspects of my social life that will stay private. Or it may be to do with the constant job rejections I’ve received this week. Every day I’d open my email inbox to see yet another rejection. I know I should be taking advantage of the fact that I’ve got no job but it’s disheartening when it feels constant. I’m hoping that a good night’s rest and some visible progress on oSaM will help pick me up.

I apologise for the somewhat depressing tone that this post seems to have taken but there’s not much I can do to change it. I try and edit it and it still sounds depressing. Apparently my unemployment is getting to me more than I thought.